She sat in the parking lot, on the hood of her car, checking her watch for the sixteenth time.
If Bryan was coming, he needed to arrive soon.
She hopped down and checked the contents of the back seat one more time. Blanket. Snacks. Water. A heavy thermos of hot chocolate. And the telescope, carefully wrapped and buckled into the seat like a baby.
The perfect time for stargazing would occur after dusk. But if they were going to see what she wanted to show him, he would need to appear in the next ten minutes. There was an hour-long drive in front of them.
If he didn't ... there was always next week to watch the sky. But he probably wouldn't be there with her. The thought made her heart hurt.
She wished she could pray. She wished she had the capacity for faith, for the belief in things not seen. Either he would come, or he would not.
She looked at her watch again.
Bodies in Retrograde
Moderator: Student Council
"I made a promise to her and I have to keep it." The student thought to himself as he tied his sneakers and put on his jacket.
Bryan got ready to leave, Jason and Jake were both out. He quickly scribbled them a note, explaining that he had to be out past curfew to night and asking them to cover for him if need be. After leaving the dry erase board filled with writing he raced down to the parking lot.
He could see her sitting on the car, checking her watch. He sighed while he looked at her in the distance. He was hurting inside and confused, but he was also running late.
Bryan swallowed hard and stuffed the emotions he was feeling down to the pit of his stomach, then he put on a charming smile and made his way over to Nennya.
Bryan got ready to leave, Jason and Jake were both out. He quickly scribbled them a note, explaining that he had to be out past curfew to night and asking them to cover for him if need be. After leaving the dry erase board filled with writing he raced down to the parking lot.
He could see her sitting on the car, checking her watch. He sighed while he looked at her in the distance. He was hurting inside and confused, but he was also running late.
Bryan swallowed hard and stuffed the emotions he was feeling down to the pit of his stomach, then he put on a charming smile and made his way over to Nennya.
Bryan Baxter (Codename: Gravwarp)
Gravity Control / Force Field / Fire Mastery
Global: @The Troll
Fight My Brute!
Gravity Control / Force Field / Fire Mastery
Global: @The Troll
Fight My Brute!
-
Persiflage
- Posts: 601
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 11:20 pm
"Hello," she said awkwardly, as if on their first date. Her heart sunk inside as she saw the false good humor lighting up his mouth. She looked down, not meeting his eyes. It was her shame there, in his face.
Concentrate on the realities you can grasp, she thought to herself. This can't be easy for him. At least he came.
"So ... is this the car?" Bryan looked at it, then looked again, doing a double-take. "Wow!" He circled around it, looking at the new tires, the polished chrome, the carefully pounded-out dents. "I can't believe it's the same car."
"A '73 Saab 96 with a V4, Ford engine, 1500 ccm, 65 bhp. Goodyear tires and Corinthian red finish." She opened and propped the hood, showing him the complicated network of tubes, hoses, and cables. All so new they almost glittered.
"How did you do all this?" he asked. He smiled at her, a genuine smile, then dropped his eyes, looking away. The awkwardness returned.
"I bought an owner's manual online and followed the directions," she said. "It wasn't hard. Complicated." She shrugged, closing the hood. "It's a good car. It just wanted a little attention." She looked up, surprised his gaze. "Underneath all the trimmings, it's really the same car you saw before. Just the same. You're just seeing it differently now." She bit her lip, her eyelids blushing. "Are you ready?"
He nodded.
They got in.
"You'll need to adjust your seat. Raff was in here last night, and he had to crank it all the way back to get good legroom."
"Raff? Raphael? Mana Cannon?"
She nodded. "I gave him a ride back to school yesterday. He was having a hard time. I think Mitula was having a go at him. We talked for a little bit." She bit down on her lip, not wanting to say more, and adjusted her mirrors and seatbelt. "You will need to be in charge of changing the music." She turned the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. "There's an eight-track player in there, but I don't have any eight-track tapes. So it's radio for us tonight."
He fiddled with the oversize knobs, settled on an NPR broadcast featuring new age technobeat music. "Hold on," she said, when they made the turnoff for the interstate. "The car likes to go fast."
It was disorienting, dissociative. She felt him looking at her, wanting to slide into familiarity, then being brought up with a jerk into strangeness. It made the conversation stutter and start. Mostly they just listened to the music, as Nennya drove down the open road, wove in and out of traffic easily, handling the car like an extension of her body. She focused on the car, on driving. It didn't help that she was hungry again, and had found nothing good to eat today. The car was sure and certain, and she knew how to drive it. She clung to that certainty, passing quickly over the state border and into Connecticut, flinging quarters at tollbooths when necessary.
The music changed as they moved on into the west. Into retrograde. Bryan was able to find an eighties station, and then a talk show going on and on about the homosexual agenda to destroy America, which quickly was changed to classic rock. And finally the radio gave out too, as she took a highway exit, fizzling into nothing, leaving only the static.
"Where are we going?" he asked. "Did you have a particular place in mind?"
She frowned, pausing at a stop sign to peruse the Google map directions she'd taken out. "There's a place recommended by the Yale Astrological society as a good spot for viewing events tonight. Public use land, owned by the college.
Out into the wilds of the Connecticut countryside. They rolled down the windows to catch the last of the hot breezes. Dusk was twenty minutes away and he could hear crickets and tiny frogs in the ditches. She turned off the highway, consulting her map occasionally, and went down a hardpacked dirt road, parked beside it, pointed to a field coming up to twilight.
"There," she pointed. "We should hurry. Take my bag and the blanket; I'll get the telescope."
They walked briskly out into the tall grass. Nennya spread the blanket, and put the telescope on a bare spot she made, tearing up handfuls of grass and trampling the earth level. It was a squat, large white cylinder with very little resemblance to the traditional spyglass-and-tripod he'd been expecting. She made a few adjustments, and backed away.
Dusk swept over them like a river of darkness, and was gone. Bryan looked around, looked up. There was a faint orange glow to the east, some large city miles and miles away. But here it was dark, deeply so. There was no moon yet, and the stars were as bright and piercing as holes punched through black velvet. Their glare almost made his eyes water.
And so many of them! Had the sky, ever, anywhere, had so many stars? He could see stars beyond the stars, and clouds of constellations, a milky fog of the arm of the Milky Way. He could even see pinprick points of satellites, moving impossibly fast in their terran orbit, falling without ever landing.
"Here," she said. "You can see it now. Look." She backed away from the telescope, let him take her place at the double-eyepiece.
"What am I seeing? Oh, wait ... oh... wow."
It was Jupiter. He moved his eyes away, looked back up at the naked sky, not believing what he was seeing could possibly be real. He looked through the telescope again. He could see it the way he'd thought was only possible through pictures. It was the size of a thumbnail to him, seen at arm's length. It was Jupiter. The gas giant of the solar system, the big daddy, the god of planets, striated with orange and gold. He could even make out the Red Spot, a celestial storm, like a bloody wound.
He looked over at Nennya, and she replaced him at the lens. "Retrograde," she murmured, fiddling at the focus again. "We're in darkness, but the planet faces into the light from the sun. It won't last long." She gave up her place to him again.
He stared and stared, until his eyes watered. "I can see other things," he said. "Little bits of blue and purple and yellow light, not far away. What are... are these the major moons? The Galilean Moons?"
"Yes," Nennya whispered, her voice sibilant in the dark. Somewhere far away, there was the faint shuush of cars. Closer, only the sounds their bodies made inside their clothing, the chirping and singing of millions of bugs, the rustle of the grass in the breeze, and nightbirds. The human voice was like a bizarre interruption, drawing attention to the silence that was full of noise.
"The blue one is Ganymede. The largest moon in our solar system. Larger even than Mercury, or Pluto. Its surface is covered with frozen methane and water. Ganymede."
"Is that where....?" He looked away, he looked at her. Her face, normally so occluded, was full of sorrow. "Yes," she said again.
Concentrate on the realities you can grasp, she thought to herself. This can't be easy for him. At least he came.
"So ... is this the car?" Bryan looked at it, then looked again, doing a double-take. "Wow!" He circled around it, looking at the new tires, the polished chrome, the carefully pounded-out dents. "I can't believe it's the same car."
"A '73 Saab 96 with a V4, Ford engine, 1500 ccm, 65 bhp. Goodyear tires and Corinthian red finish." She opened and propped the hood, showing him the complicated network of tubes, hoses, and cables. All so new they almost glittered.
"How did you do all this?" he asked. He smiled at her, a genuine smile, then dropped his eyes, looking away. The awkwardness returned.
"I bought an owner's manual online and followed the directions," she said. "It wasn't hard. Complicated." She shrugged, closing the hood. "It's a good car. It just wanted a little attention." She looked up, surprised his gaze. "Underneath all the trimmings, it's really the same car you saw before. Just the same. You're just seeing it differently now." She bit her lip, her eyelids blushing. "Are you ready?"
He nodded.
They got in.
"You'll need to adjust your seat. Raff was in here last night, and he had to crank it all the way back to get good legroom."
"Raff? Raphael? Mana Cannon?"
She nodded. "I gave him a ride back to school yesterday. He was having a hard time. I think Mitula was having a go at him. We talked for a little bit." She bit down on her lip, not wanting to say more, and adjusted her mirrors and seatbelt. "You will need to be in charge of changing the music." She turned the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. "There's an eight-track player in there, but I don't have any eight-track tapes. So it's radio for us tonight."
He fiddled with the oversize knobs, settled on an NPR broadcast featuring new age technobeat music. "Hold on," she said, when they made the turnoff for the interstate. "The car likes to go fast."
It was disorienting, dissociative. She felt him looking at her, wanting to slide into familiarity, then being brought up with a jerk into strangeness. It made the conversation stutter and start. Mostly they just listened to the music, as Nennya drove down the open road, wove in and out of traffic easily, handling the car like an extension of her body. She focused on the car, on driving. It didn't help that she was hungry again, and had found nothing good to eat today. The car was sure and certain, and she knew how to drive it. She clung to that certainty, passing quickly over the state border and into Connecticut, flinging quarters at tollbooths when necessary.
The music changed as they moved on into the west. Into retrograde. Bryan was able to find an eighties station, and then a talk show going on and on about the homosexual agenda to destroy America, which quickly was changed to classic rock. And finally the radio gave out too, as she took a highway exit, fizzling into nothing, leaving only the static.
"Where are we going?" he asked. "Did you have a particular place in mind?"
She frowned, pausing at a stop sign to peruse the Google map directions she'd taken out. "There's a place recommended by the Yale Astrological society as a good spot for viewing events tonight. Public use land, owned by the college.
Out into the wilds of the Connecticut countryside. They rolled down the windows to catch the last of the hot breezes. Dusk was twenty minutes away and he could hear crickets and tiny frogs in the ditches. She turned off the highway, consulting her map occasionally, and went down a hardpacked dirt road, parked beside it, pointed to a field coming up to twilight.
"There," she pointed. "We should hurry. Take my bag and the blanket; I'll get the telescope."
They walked briskly out into the tall grass. Nennya spread the blanket, and put the telescope on a bare spot she made, tearing up handfuls of grass and trampling the earth level. It was a squat, large white cylinder with very little resemblance to the traditional spyglass-and-tripod he'd been expecting. She made a few adjustments, and backed away.
Dusk swept over them like a river of darkness, and was gone. Bryan looked around, looked up. There was a faint orange glow to the east, some large city miles and miles away. But here it was dark, deeply so. There was no moon yet, and the stars were as bright and piercing as holes punched through black velvet. Their glare almost made his eyes water.
And so many of them! Had the sky, ever, anywhere, had so many stars? He could see stars beyond the stars, and clouds of constellations, a milky fog of the arm of the Milky Way. He could even see pinprick points of satellites, moving impossibly fast in their terran orbit, falling without ever landing.
"Here," she said. "You can see it now. Look." She backed away from the telescope, let him take her place at the double-eyepiece.
"What am I seeing? Oh, wait ... oh... wow."
It was Jupiter. He moved his eyes away, looked back up at the naked sky, not believing what he was seeing could possibly be real. He looked through the telescope again. He could see it the way he'd thought was only possible through pictures. It was the size of a thumbnail to him, seen at arm's length. It was Jupiter. The gas giant of the solar system, the big daddy, the god of planets, striated with orange and gold. He could even make out the Red Spot, a celestial storm, like a bloody wound.
He looked over at Nennya, and she replaced him at the lens. "Retrograde," she murmured, fiddling at the focus again. "We're in darkness, but the planet faces into the light from the sun. It won't last long." She gave up her place to him again.
He stared and stared, until his eyes watered. "I can see other things," he said. "Little bits of blue and purple and yellow light, not far away. What are... are these the major moons? The Galilean Moons?"
"Yes," Nennya whispered, her voice sibilant in the dark. Somewhere far away, there was the faint shuush of cars. Closer, only the sounds their bodies made inside their clothing, the chirping and singing of millions of bugs, the rustle of the grass in the breeze, and nightbirds. The human voice was like a bizarre interruption, drawing attention to the silence that was full of noise.
"The blue one is Ganymede. The largest moon in our solar system. Larger even than Mercury, or Pluto. Its surface is covered with frozen methane and water. Ganymede."
"Is that where....?" He looked away, he looked at her. Her face, normally so occluded, was full of sorrow. "Yes," she said again.
"Caveat Emptor"
Bryan looked away quickly; it hurt him to be here with her. He felt torn; he knew that he should not have come to this secluded area with her but his heart wanted to be here with this girl he had shared so much with.
Things were tense; the awkward silence between the two of them seemed to almost drown out the song of nature that played around them. She placed her eye to the telescope and gazed into it, the few minutes seemed an eternity. When she drew her face away, he could see that she was in pain too.
He tried so hard to steel his heart from the desire to comfort her and to take her and hold her close to him. Bryan wanted to be angry to tell her she had no right to be miserable, that she was the one responsible, and that he alone should be the one who was hurt.
He desperately wanted to think and feel those things, but they were not there. Inside his heart, he knew that this was not her fault. Bryan knew that this was not a conscious choice that she could make or unmake.
Bryan stared into her eyes and felt his love for her, it was still there. He could feel that knot in his stomach that was always there around her but though it was still there, the feeling had changed. He began to speak to her, haltingly at first but soon his feelings were pouring themselves out and he could not stop the flood.
"Nennya." Bryan said softly to her. "I've been trying so hard to think of a way to react to what you told me last night. I know your leaving is something that you must do, I understand that."
"I also understand that you have a designated... umm... mate." The word sat in the night air. "You told me that you and I would not be together in the future. More than anything that is what hurts me the most. Knowing that you are going to be with someone else."
He laughed slightly to himself before continuing, "You know that is the one thing more than anything that hurt me the most. Not who that mate is... I mean, just thinking that it's not going to be you and I together."
Bryan looked into the twinkling heavens above them, the light reflected in the wet edges of his eyes. "Maybe Drix was right all along, maybe I should have known better. That maybe I should have known all along that our differences were just too much to overcome. At the time I thought he was just speaking about physical appearance."
He looked at her again; but it was her turn to look away this time. She was gazing at the stars; they kept her from looking at him. "Pretty naive, huh?"
Bryan lay back on the blanket placing his arms behind his head. In his mind he kept repeating a phrase she had used. "A surrogate mate"... it cut him deeper and deeper each time he thought the words. He repeated them to keep himself from crying, he wouldn't cry; no matter how much he wanted to.
Things were tense; the awkward silence between the two of them seemed to almost drown out the song of nature that played around them. She placed her eye to the telescope and gazed into it, the few minutes seemed an eternity. When she drew her face away, he could see that she was in pain too.
He tried so hard to steel his heart from the desire to comfort her and to take her and hold her close to him. Bryan wanted to be angry to tell her she had no right to be miserable, that she was the one responsible, and that he alone should be the one who was hurt.
He desperately wanted to think and feel those things, but they were not there. Inside his heart, he knew that this was not her fault. Bryan knew that this was not a conscious choice that she could make or unmake.
Bryan stared into her eyes and felt his love for her, it was still there. He could feel that knot in his stomach that was always there around her but though it was still there, the feeling had changed. He began to speak to her, haltingly at first but soon his feelings were pouring themselves out and he could not stop the flood.
"Nennya." Bryan said softly to her. "I've been trying so hard to think of a way to react to what you told me last night. I know your leaving is something that you must do, I understand that."
"I also understand that you have a designated... umm... mate." The word sat in the night air. "You told me that you and I would not be together in the future. More than anything that is what hurts me the most. Knowing that you are going to be with someone else."
He laughed slightly to himself before continuing, "You know that is the one thing more than anything that hurt me the most. Not who that mate is... I mean, just thinking that it's not going to be you and I together."
Bryan looked into the twinkling heavens above them, the light reflected in the wet edges of his eyes. "Maybe Drix was right all along, maybe I should have known better. That maybe I should have known all along that our differences were just too much to overcome. At the time I thought he was just speaking about physical appearance."
He looked at her again; but it was her turn to look away this time. She was gazing at the stars; they kept her from looking at him. "Pretty naive, huh?"
Bryan lay back on the blanket placing his arms behind his head. In his mind he kept repeating a phrase she had used. "A surrogate mate"... it cut him deeper and deeper each time he thought the words. He repeated them to keep himself from crying, he wouldn't cry; no matter how much he wanted to.
Bryan Baxter (Codename: Gravwarp)
Gravity Control / Force Field / Fire Mastery
Global: @The Troll
Fight My Brute!
Gravity Control / Force Field / Fire Mastery
Global: @The Troll
Fight My Brute!
-
Persiflage
- Posts: 601
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 11:20 pm
She stared through the lens until Jupiter slipped into shadow.
Goodbye, she thought, getting one last blue glimpse of Ganymede before it winked out.
"It's over," she said. Bryan looked up, naked hurt on his face.
"The view of Jupiter, I mean." She repacked the telescope carefully, lugged it up like a toddler. Bryan got up quickly, wanting to help her.
"No," she said. "I'm just taking this back to the car. I'll be right back. You will find snacks and a thermos of hot chocolate in my bag. Please eat. I'll be right back."
Bryan looked at the fare she'd provided; wasabi peanuts, goldfish crackers, a brownie, conspicuously single in a baggie. He hesitated a moment, then munched gladly, drank. The cocoa was flavored with a touch of mint.
Nennya appeared again out of the dark, sat down on a corner of the blanket opposite him. He made to hand her the thermos, but she waved a hand. "I can't drink it." He handed her the carton of goldfish crackers. "I can't eat it. Go ahead. It's for you." She gave a lame smile.
"All for me, eh?" he shook his head. "Nennya ... you really shouldn't have."
She shrugged, a shadow in the dark.
"Nya ...I think we need some ... I need some time. I can't... This is hard." He scowled, and a burst of his gravitic powers flattened the grass around them, briefly.
Her voice was even. "Are we breaking up?"
He didn't respond. "I want to go home. Back to the school, I mean. Can we do that?"
"Yes," she said. "In a moment." She stretched up one hand, pointed at the sky. A star fell, the streak miraculous, as if summoned.
"It's the Lyrids," she said. She lay down on the blanket, face up to the sky.
He arched his head back. The stars began to fall, in bright winking slashes, from the east.
"They come from comet dust," she said, her words inconsequential, but her voice shaking slightly. "Comet Thatcher. Comets used to be an omen of doom. Like the end of the world." Her voice trailed off to nothing.
She made a soft gasping noise; he realized she was crying.
"Are you okay?" He moved to touch her.
"No," she said, choking out the words between hushed sobs. "It will stop in a minute."
Goodbye, she thought, getting one last blue glimpse of Ganymede before it winked out.
"It's over," she said. Bryan looked up, naked hurt on his face.
"The view of Jupiter, I mean." She repacked the telescope carefully, lugged it up like a toddler. Bryan got up quickly, wanting to help her.
"No," she said. "I'm just taking this back to the car. I'll be right back. You will find snacks and a thermos of hot chocolate in my bag. Please eat. I'll be right back."
Bryan looked at the fare she'd provided; wasabi peanuts, goldfish crackers, a brownie, conspicuously single in a baggie. He hesitated a moment, then munched gladly, drank. The cocoa was flavored with a touch of mint.
Nennya appeared again out of the dark, sat down on a corner of the blanket opposite him. He made to hand her the thermos, but she waved a hand. "I can't drink it." He handed her the carton of goldfish crackers. "I can't eat it. Go ahead. It's for you." She gave a lame smile.
"All for me, eh?" he shook his head. "Nennya ... you really shouldn't have."
She shrugged, a shadow in the dark.
"Nya ...I think we need some ... I need some time. I can't... This is hard." He scowled, and a burst of his gravitic powers flattened the grass around them, briefly.
Her voice was even. "Are we breaking up?"
He didn't respond. "I want to go home. Back to the school, I mean. Can we do that?"
"Yes," she said. "In a moment." She stretched up one hand, pointed at the sky. A star fell, the streak miraculous, as if summoned.
"It's the Lyrids," she said. She lay down on the blanket, face up to the sky.
He arched his head back. The stars began to fall, in bright winking slashes, from the east.
"They come from comet dust," she said, her words inconsequential, but her voice shaking slightly. "Comet Thatcher. Comets used to be an omen of doom. Like the end of the world." Her voice trailed off to nothing.
She made a soft gasping noise; he realized she was crying.
"Are you okay?" He moved to touch her.
"No," she said, choking out the words between hushed sobs. "It will stop in a minute."
"Caveat Emptor"He sat in the dark looking up at those twinkling stars. Bryan sat merely a foot away from Nennya, but he felt further from her than her ever had before. Each time he heard her sob; he felt his heart break a little more.
More than anything Bryan wanted to grab her in his arms, squeeze her soft body against his and kiss her harder and more passionately than he ever had before. He wanted to not just to make her stop hurting but because he still loved her. He thought back to his time in the hospital, feeling her touch his hand… Bryan shook the memory from his mind quickly.
He didn’t embrace her; he sat on the grass frozen by the conflicting feelings in his heart. Nennya sniffled quietly one last time and they sat in silence again, the hush seemed to offer the young man one last chance to take it all back, one last opportunity to tell her that her confession to him didn’t matter, one final chance to love each other even if it meant it was only for now; that the future didn’t matter that the now was all he cared about.
Bryan’s voice cracked as he spoke again. “I… I’m sorry, Nennya. I… I just think it’s best if we spend some time apart.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he could feel her mood change. He tried to continue, to explain, “I just need think about it…”
“I understand.” She cut him off. Her voice was even, bordering on cold. Hearing her speak to him in that voice hurt him. “I think its time we headed back.”
“Ok…” It was all he could say.
More than anything Bryan wanted to grab her in his arms, squeeze her soft body against his and kiss her harder and more passionately than he ever had before. He wanted to not just to make her stop hurting but because he still loved her. He thought back to his time in the hospital, feeling her touch his hand… Bryan shook the memory from his mind quickly.
He didn’t embrace her; he sat on the grass frozen by the conflicting feelings in his heart. Nennya sniffled quietly one last time and they sat in silence again, the hush seemed to offer the young man one last chance to take it all back, one last opportunity to tell her that her confession to him didn’t matter, one final chance to love each other even if it meant it was only for now; that the future didn’t matter that the now was all he cared about.
Bryan’s voice cracked as he spoke again. “I… I’m sorry, Nennya. I… I just think it’s best if we spend some time apart.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he could feel her mood change. He tried to continue, to explain, “I just need think about it…”
“I understand.” She cut him off. Her voice was even, bordering on cold. Hearing her speak to him in that voice hurt him. “I think its time we headed back.”
“Ok…” It was all he could say.
Bryan Baxter (Codename: Gravwarp)
Gravity Control / Force Field / Fire Mastery
Global: @The Troll
Fight My Brute!
Gravity Control / Force Field / Fire Mastery
Global: @The Troll
Fight My Brute!