"Hey Dad" The voice speaking into the phone was quiet and distant, completely out of character for the young man who sat slumped on his bed. Still wearing the same clothes from the night before, he idly pressed his hand over the material smoothing it out. It was probably the lack of sleep that drained some of the color from his olive toned skin, glancing over to the mirror, he caught a glimpse of himself shaking it off, sitting up straight. Always Okay
Something resembling "What is wrong Dominic" came through the phone. The reply had some of the familiar strength back in his voice "I just need you to call the school, so I can get a brief leave, just a few days this week and the weekend to come home and visit. I still haven't seen Francesca yet, since she has been out of the hospital. It will be the weekend of the fourth of July here, so the classes are pretty easy this week anyway.
"Do you have your ticket? Do you need..." Dominic cut him off "I have it sitting here beside me, packed and ready to go, I just need you to call and confirm I'll be coming home."
As he spoke, he reached down to his side picking up a small notebook, flipping through a few pages.
"What is the number of the office?" His fathers voice came through the phone again, and without pause Dominic spoke the digits off, his finger tracing along the notebook as he read.
"Do you have your..." Dominic interjected again "I talked to my teachers this morning, I have my assignments up through Monday. “
"Good man" His fathers voice came through the phone just as he finished. He wanted to smile, instead his body shuddered slightly as he cleared the lump in his throat.
Finally he replied quietly “Everything is well enough, just need to come home for a few days, and I really want to see Fran and you and mom.” There was a slight pause before he broke the silence “But for now I need to make sure everything is in order, tell Mom and Fran I love them, and I’ll be home sometime early tomorrow, Anna already said she would pick me up”
“Okay son, we will see you soon”
Dom fell back onto the bed, as the call ended, hands quickly coming up over his eyes keeping out the light as if it would help with the near throbbing headache.
Things always seemed worse then they actually are. Stop, view the situation as a whole, remove yourself from the equation, gain perspective.
It was his fathers voice, his fathers words that reminded him of what to do.
All those times she said it was okay, then in the end she said it wasn’t.
His eyes tightened silencing his inner voice, he wasn’t about to justify what had happen, maybe he needed to let it linger in his mind for just a while, hopefully comprehend the gravity of the situation.
You wanted to be like him, this is how he is, its just a game, they are just pieces to play with.
In the end was that what Kat had become?
-------
The Alarm sounded on his nightstand and he quickly sat up, pulling back his sleeve to see the time. Fifteen minutes and the cab would be here. He had slept through most of the day, some how his conscience granting him a reprieve allowing him to finally rest.
He slung his back over the right shoulder, doing a quick check for keys wallet phone, grabbing his ticket information as he made his way out the door locking it behind him.
The ride through the airport was short, though the trip through it was long as always, by the time he finally made it aboard the plain, he fell into the seat, buckling up, already closing his eyes.
The attendants rattled on about safety procedures, he could hear those who had not flown before unfolding the papers to read over the safety instructions.
I wonder if I tell them I’m a tank they will just let me be.
“Sir, if you could bare with us for just a moment, we will finishing going over the safety procedures then you can rest”
He nodded quietly opening his eyes and sitting up to pay attention, at the request of the small tug on his arm. It was unfortunate what he saw, who he saw, her features, they were close enough to Kat’s to trigger memories once more.
Though he sat on the plane, the attendants speaking of safety, in his mind, he was sitting next to Kat in founders overlooking the large fountain.
Her voice was small as she spoke “Dom, I wasn’t comfortable doing a lot of those things, but I did them for you”
In the mix of vivid fantasy and reality his chest tightened as he felt that familiar feeling rush through his veins, he was tanking up. Voices started to speak slower, sound intensified, movements all around him, he could see them feel them. It seemed to reach its limit, then break through that first barrier, that kind of “overdrive” he could hit, an afterburner of sorts.
His eyes scanned the cabin quickly.
Was there danger, who was it, was it the plane, why is this happening.
The muscles of his chest tightened again, knuckles white against arm rest praying his strength didn’t slip and crush it. All at once it crashed, as he tried to hold in a gasp, seeming like he couldn’t get enough air.
If you would have tanked up, people would have know, you would have crushed the arm rest.
When he looked around, no one seemed to even look twice, how much of it was in his head he wasn’t sure, he clenched his eyes tight, playing what she said over and over again.
Get a hold of yourself, you didn’t even do anything.
He hated the idea he was trying to justify what she said, trivialize it, dismiss it.
Dad will laugh when you tell him this, he will laugh at you.
His mind quietly replayed one of the speeches he got, it was about the time problems with Mieri sprung up.
This is why you stay away from girls with no experience, what is the use of trying to live up to that first fantasy that has been built up for who knows how many years. Wait for some other dumb f*** to come along, fail, then just be better than him.
To his father it was a sport, the stories were trophies, it was as if they were heads mounted on a wall, each of them having a story of the hunt involved. There was the woman from Brazil, another from Greece, the stories of visits to Capri during the time they would make the limoncello. All over the world, he knew them by their first name, the tones of the skin, the colors their eyes, maybe something about their features.
Hardly enough to consider them a person.
Wasn’t it easy for her to say all this time she wanted to, then in the end regret it?
It stung because there was logic to it, hearing it in his fathers voice only made it worse. Soon it would be brushed aside, and he would continue in the footsteps of his hero.
------------
It wasn’t until they were well over the Atlantic, late into the night, nearing the morning he passed out once more, assorted nightmares running through his mind. Anna, Mieri, Kat, Cait, Violet, Sam, Ves, all of them looking to him with a devastated expression, as if he had taken their world away from them. He wished to wake up, to get away from it all, but the exhaustion of his body from whatever had happen earlier kept him trapped. It played over and over again, each of them, looking to be near tears and rage at what he had done to them.
In the end, he was released from the self made prison by another tug on his arm, it was her again, the one that looked vaguely similar to Kat. As he opened his eyes to see her, he quickly averted, clearing his throat with a cough to pass it off.
“Sir we will be landing shortly, if you could return your seat to the upright position we would appreciate it”
Dom gave a quiet nod looking around again, no one seemed to give him a second glance. Anna would be waiting for him with a bright smile, maybe a goofy sign because she got bored of waiting.
How long will that last
He tried his best to wake himself up, tried to remove the transparency of his state of mind from his face as the plane touched down.
In his Fathers Footsteps
Moderator: Student Council
Re: In his Fathers Footsteps
Despite the long sleep on the way over, Dominic had a tired look on his face, he carried it with him through the airport, picking up his lone bag turning his attention out to the crowds. It was the first time it hit him, he was home. Eyes refocusing, he became aware of his surroundings catching a figure darting from his right. Quietly he wished she could have surprised him, but he saw it coming. Arms wrapped tight around as he dropped his bag hugging her back.
It has been months since he had flown back home, those calls every few days hadn’t been enough for her apparently as she didn’t’ let go. Thinking back it was the longest they had ever been apart, even with all the trips, he was gone for a few weeks, a month at the most.
Something strange happened as he thought he may have heard a sniffle coming from her as she buried into his chest. “Are you…”
“Shut up!” She called pulling away from him, punching his arm hard. Anna managed to compose herself quickly stepping back to look him over. Dark green eyes widened as she became aware of him, how much he had changed over the past four or so months.
“Oh my God, Dominic, you look… amazing”
Through the tanking, the training, all that he had been up to, he had shed nearly thirty pounds. Elly’s comment that he needed to “Bulk up” made him laugh quietly and he picked up his bag putting an arm around her.
Anna, who at best had a very rustic beauty to her, seemed to look at him for a moment, already picking up on his troubles. For now, she kept quiet happy to be under the arm of the boy she grew up with, her best friend.
Dominic seemed to lighten as well as they started to walk out of the airport.
“So… what… is.. All of this?” She motioned him once over, perhaps a slight transparency in a new found interest. “Haven’t they been feeding you?”
He burst out laughing for the first time “You know I thought I could have that speech saved until mom saw me, I guess that would be too much to ask though huh?”
Anna giggled along with the notion “Sorry it is just a really big difference, I mean … wow.” She poked at his stomach asking with all the innocence she could muster “So we are going swimming right”
His laughter subsided and he nodded to her “ I was thinking yeah we could do at least that, socome on, lets get something to eat before we head to my parents house.”
--------
Sitting across her in a small café they sat face to face at a small table, he was more quiet than normal, she was full of questions. Finally he admitted “So I broke up with Kat, well we broke up”
She paused for a moment then scoffed “Well its about time”
“Anna!” he called to her giving a stern look. “You know she was looking forward to meeting you”
She rolled her eyes and waved him away “Oh come on, she was…”
He cleared his throat and cut her off “Seriously Anna, not really the best topic now”
A quiet nod came from her side of the table “Sor…”
“No need to be sorry, it happens, sometimes things don’t work out you know?” He did his best to shrug it off, it seemed to only pique her curiosity.
“Well come on, what happened”
It has been months since he had flown back home, those calls every few days hadn’t been enough for her apparently as she didn’t’ let go. Thinking back it was the longest they had ever been apart, even with all the trips, he was gone for a few weeks, a month at the most.
Something strange happened as he thought he may have heard a sniffle coming from her as she buried into his chest. “Are you…”
“Shut up!” She called pulling away from him, punching his arm hard. Anna managed to compose herself quickly stepping back to look him over. Dark green eyes widened as she became aware of him, how much he had changed over the past four or so months.
“Oh my God, Dominic, you look… amazing”
Through the tanking, the training, all that he had been up to, he had shed nearly thirty pounds. Elly’s comment that he needed to “Bulk up” made him laugh quietly and he picked up his bag putting an arm around her.
Anna, who at best had a very rustic beauty to her, seemed to look at him for a moment, already picking up on his troubles. For now, she kept quiet happy to be under the arm of the boy she grew up with, her best friend.
Dominic seemed to lighten as well as they started to walk out of the airport.
“So… what… is.. All of this?” She motioned him once over, perhaps a slight transparency in a new found interest. “Haven’t they been feeding you?”
He burst out laughing for the first time “You know I thought I could have that speech saved until mom saw me, I guess that would be too much to ask though huh?”
Anna giggled along with the notion “Sorry it is just a really big difference, I mean … wow.” She poked at his stomach asking with all the innocence she could muster “So we are going swimming right”
His laughter subsided and he nodded to her “ I was thinking yeah we could do at least that, socome on, lets get something to eat before we head to my parents house.”
--------
Sitting across her in a small café they sat face to face at a small table, he was more quiet than normal, she was full of questions. Finally he admitted “So I broke up with Kat, well we broke up”
She paused for a moment then scoffed “Well its about time”
“Anna!” he called to her giving a stern look. “You know she was looking forward to meeting you”
She rolled her eyes and waved him away “Oh come on, she was…”
He cleared his throat and cut her off “Seriously Anna, not really the best topic now”
A quiet nod came from her side of the table “Sor…”
“No need to be sorry, it happens, sometimes things don’t work out you know?” He did his best to shrug it off, it seemed to only pique her curiosity.
“Well come on, what happened”
Re: In his Fathers Footsteps
There was silence between them, as the atmosphere of the café continued on around them, finally he looked up from his drink over to her.
“It was all my fault, I…” there was hesitation in his voice as he spoke within reason making sure the conversation didn’t escape their small corner “I pushed her too far, she wasn’t ready, she said she wasn’t ready, and I just kept on pushing”
A surprised look came to Anna’s face, as she leaned in “Dominic.. You didn’t…”
He shook his head quietly “No we didn’t, but… I tried to get her to, on her terms, and I just ended up pushing her into stuff she wasn’t comfortable with”
His face lower slightly again, as another wave of regret set in, his voice had quieted significantly “ I don’t know what dad is going to say.”
She furrowed her brow at that, growing up his best friend she had grown accustomed to the constant taunting of his father, pushing him towards this kind of thing, personifying the objectification of women, all but teaching him to use them and disregard them when their purpose had been served.
“Dominic… your father, he can be one of the best around. But.. You need to know he can be a real asshole too.”
He looked up to her rather suddenly, she had kept it to herself up until now, perhaps knowing how he felt about his father. It hurts to hear your hero is really a bad person.
“I…. I mean he just” He wanted to defend him but she didn’t give him the opportunity.
“Dominic, he cares a lot for you and Fran and your Mom, he isn’t the worst father out there, just… I don’t know. He isn’t the best?”
She folded her arms in her lap letting out a small sigh, the conversation becoming almost too heavy for her.
“He is the reason we… I mean it effects me to hear the speeches he gives you, on how to act, on how to be. Its not just a game Dominic. You… you seem to get that, but you let what he says override it”
Anna didn’t wish to continue, but the silence from the other side of the table caused her voice to trail on.
“You, I mean you’re the best when you aren’t out there trying to play with the hearts of girls, lead them along, seeing if you can’t have manage two without getting caught… or getting caught and getting away with it”
She found herself still speaking, it was near rambling, quietly she justified it to herself that it needed to be said.
“Its… I know he is your hero, you want to follow in his footsteps to be the man he is, there are a lot of things about him that makes him a great guy. Beneath all that, beneath the game, I mean he does everything for you and Fran. He has taught you a lot more than just how to score some action, its just I don’t know why he even does it, your mom is smart, and beautiful, and just… I don’t know amazing, and I don’t know why she even lets him say that stuff to you.”
She seemed grateful for a quiet interruption on his part as if the weight of the situation was off her shoulders “Anna, its… yeah I understand. I do want to be like him, I mean he has this life that is never boring, he is always on the go, he gets to see the world and I mean… I don’t know I feel like if I am like him now, some day I might be.. You know.”
She smiled softly a small laugh escaping her lips “If you try to be like him, you will always be less than him, its only when you walk your own path do you have a chance to pave your own way, and make your own legends instead of living in someone’s shadow.”
He gave her a quizzical look “Where the hell did that come from? Are you picking up ancient Chinese proverbs now?”
She giggled quietly shaking her head “Your dad told me that, I was talking about soccer, but it seemed to fit here better.”
He had to laugh shaking his giving her a look that said “Thank you” and smiled to her.
"We should get going, you keep me out too long mom and dad will flip."
She gave a reluctant nod and smiled back “You sure you don't want to see my grandma first? She misses you.” She managed to lighten the mood again as he laughed “So when are you coming over to visit, I have a friend you have to meet over there. She says she was into soccer, and well I am actually a little afraid if you two would get together, but regardless you have to come visit.”
Anna grinned at him “Oh? Already moving on to the next”
He quickly stopped her “No, its not like that, think you and me?”
She feigned devastation in her face “You.. You’re replacing me?’ giving him a teasing jab in the side as they walked out.
“Kind of?” he retorted giving her a look and a smile, his voice teasing her.
She scoffed “Well I will come over, I will challenge her to a game of something to see who has the pleasure of putting up with you as a best friend, come to think of it? I might just let her win.”
They exchanged a mutual grin between each other, laughing as the continued on out of the city, towards their homes.
“It was all my fault, I…” there was hesitation in his voice as he spoke within reason making sure the conversation didn’t escape their small corner “I pushed her too far, she wasn’t ready, she said she wasn’t ready, and I just kept on pushing”
A surprised look came to Anna’s face, as she leaned in “Dominic.. You didn’t…”
He shook his head quietly “No we didn’t, but… I tried to get her to, on her terms, and I just ended up pushing her into stuff she wasn’t comfortable with”
His face lower slightly again, as another wave of regret set in, his voice had quieted significantly “ I don’t know what dad is going to say.”
She furrowed her brow at that, growing up his best friend she had grown accustomed to the constant taunting of his father, pushing him towards this kind of thing, personifying the objectification of women, all but teaching him to use them and disregard them when their purpose had been served.
“Dominic… your father, he can be one of the best around. But.. You need to know he can be a real asshole too.”
He looked up to her rather suddenly, she had kept it to herself up until now, perhaps knowing how he felt about his father. It hurts to hear your hero is really a bad person.
“I…. I mean he just” He wanted to defend him but she didn’t give him the opportunity.
“Dominic, he cares a lot for you and Fran and your Mom, he isn’t the worst father out there, just… I don’t know. He isn’t the best?”
She folded her arms in her lap letting out a small sigh, the conversation becoming almost too heavy for her.
“He is the reason we… I mean it effects me to hear the speeches he gives you, on how to act, on how to be. Its not just a game Dominic. You… you seem to get that, but you let what he says override it”
Anna didn’t wish to continue, but the silence from the other side of the table caused her voice to trail on.
“You, I mean you’re the best when you aren’t out there trying to play with the hearts of girls, lead them along, seeing if you can’t have manage two without getting caught… or getting caught and getting away with it”
She found herself still speaking, it was near rambling, quietly she justified it to herself that it needed to be said.
“Its… I know he is your hero, you want to follow in his footsteps to be the man he is, there are a lot of things about him that makes him a great guy. Beneath all that, beneath the game, I mean he does everything for you and Fran. He has taught you a lot more than just how to score some action, its just I don’t know why he even does it, your mom is smart, and beautiful, and just… I don’t know amazing, and I don’t know why she even lets him say that stuff to you.”
She seemed grateful for a quiet interruption on his part as if the weight of the situation was off her shoulders “Anna, its… yeah I understand. I do want to be like him, I mean he has this life that is never boring, he is always on the go, he gets to see the world and I mean… I don’t know I feel like if I am like him now, some day I might be.. You know.”
She smiled softly a small laugh escaping her lips “If you try to be like him, you will always be less than him, its only when you walk your own path do you have a chance to pave your own way, and make your own legends instead of living in someone’s shadow.”
He gave her a quizzical look “Where the hell did that come from? Are you picking up ancient Chinese proverbs now?”
She giggled quietly shaking her head “Your dad told me that, I was talking about soccer, but it seemed to fit here better.”
He had to laugh shaking his giving her a look that said “Thank you” and smiled to her.
"We should get going, you keep me out too long mom and dad will flip."
She gave a reluctant nod and smiled back “You sure you don't want to see my grandma first? She misses you.” She managed to lighten the mood again as he laughed “So when are you coming over to visit, I have a friend you have to meet over there. She says she was into soccer, and well I am actually a little afraid if you two would get together, but regardless you have to come visit.”
Anna grinned at him “Oh? Already moving on to the next”
He quickly stopped her “No, its not like that, think you and me?”
She feigned devastation in her face “You.. You’re replacing me?’ giving him a teasing jab in the side as they walked out.
“Kind of?” he retorted giving her a look and a smile, his voice teasing her.
She scoffed “Well I will come over, I will challenge her to a game of something to see who has the pleasure of putting up with you as a best friend, come to think of it? I might just let her win.”
They exchanged a mutual grin between each other, laughing as the continued on out of the city, towards their homes.